No-fuss anxiety tips #9: Quit Trying to “Cure” Anxiety

Are you working hard to get rid of anxiety? Grinding yourself into the ground in search of an elusive way to “fix” your anxiety?

That can cause anxiety in itself

Welcome to the ninth blog in a series of 20-short no-fuss articles with simple tips and techniques for managing anxiety. This blog focuses on how trying too hard to “cure” your anxiety can backfire and lead to increasing anxiety. We’ll explore some practical ways to live alongside your anxiety. As with all the anxiety tips in this series, its based around strategies designed to give you a sense of agency when it comes to managing anxiety and draws upon therapeutic thinking from a range of psychological and psychotherapy theories. My hope is that, rather than feel like anxiety is in charge, you’ll have some tried and tested ways to tackle anxiety.

What these tips won’t do is explore the origins and purpose of anxiety for you – this type of deeper exploration is what therapy offers. That said, having strategies for managing anxiety is a great place to start.  Each article is designed to be quick read, no-fuss. So, let’s get into technique number three:  be kind to you. 

The urge to cure, defeat or eradicate anxiety

Many people say they want to “get rid of” their anxiety – or to no longer feel anxious. Sure, anxiety can be debilitating. For that reason, its possible to find yourself in a never ending battle to defeat anxiety. To feel like you’ve slayed the anxiety dragon once and for all. To work relentlessly on eradicating worries, angst and fear.

Anxiety as a by-product of freedom

As awful as anxiety can feel, it is a part of being human. One way of conceptualising anxiety is to see it as the consequence of human freedom and responsibility. If we didn’t have choice and freedom, we be free of the anxiety that comes with making decisions. No difficult choice to make. No fear of “getting it wrong”. However, we’d also be less than human: like robots. Remembering that anxiety is a price we pay for the freedom we experience as humans can help us to feel more positive about (or at least more accepting or tolerant of) anxiety.

Anxiety has a use at times

Remembering that anxiety has a role to play in keeping us safe can also help to address any urges you feel to “cure” your anxiety. Anxiety is there for a reason – evolution has equipped us with anxiety as a mechanism to protect humans. Anxiety can be a signal that something needs to change. Try asking yourself how your anxiety is trying to help you when you notice those familiar sensations. What might these sensations be signalling? By approaching your anxiety with curiosity rather than seeking to rid yourself of any anxious feelings can help to take the sting out of the anxiety itself: you’re likely to become less anxious about being anxious!

Try approaching your anxiety with curiosity

This can take the sting out of anxiety

(Adopting a USA attitude

Another alternative to striving to cure yourself of any anxious feelings is to experiment with adopting an attitude of non-attachment, or unconditional self-acceptance (USA) by saying to yourself “that’s just my anxiety trying to keep me safe” or “I notice that I’m anxious - that’s okay, its how I feel just now” to support yourself with this move towards being less anxious about being anxious. This way of thinking is based around an acceptance of what is. The acceptance has a quality of unconditionality - being okay with whatever you notice, rather than needing things to be different. Not an easy position to adopt, but with practice can become easier. Research indicates that unconditional self-acceptance (USA) can be an effective strategy for feeling more at ease and with improved wellbeing (Vasile, 2013).

USA (unconditional self-acceptance) is similar to a concept that is called paradoxical theory of change (Beisser, 1970) - the idea that when we stop trying to make change happen, change can occur. Transformation happens when a person accepts fully who they are in that present moment, rather than when they force themselves to be what they are not. It involves an acceptance of “what is”.

Next steps?

I hope this blog has stimulated some thoughts in you and perhaps some ideas and approaches you’d like to experiment with to live with greater ease, rather than trying to “cure” your anxiety.

For more practical no-fuss anxiety tips, keep an eye out for my other blogs within this series. The next blog, #10, explores how auditing your strengths can support with feeling resourced when anxiety strikes. And, if you’d like to talk through how counselling can help you towards a deeper exploration of your anxiety, do get in touch and make contact with me, Claire Law.

I’m a BACP Senior Accredited Psychotherapist offering professional counselling and psychotherapy in Preston, Lancashire and online for adults based in the UK.

We can talk through how online counselling or face-to-face counselling at my therapy room in Preston could be helpful for you in managing your anxiety and getting to the roots of what lies behind your anxiety. I can also share with you my current availability for new clients. I’d love to hear from you.

References:

Beisser, A. (1970) The Paradoxical Theory of Change. In: Fagan, J. and Shepherd, I.L., Eds., Gestalt Therapy Now, Harper & Row, New York, 77-80.

Vasile, C. (2013). An Evaluation of Self-acceptance in Adults. Procedia - Social and Behavioral Sciences. Vol. 78. Pages 605-609.