No-fuss anxiety tips #8: The Power of “and…”

“And”

A small word that makes a big difference

Welcome to this eighth blog in a series of short articles offering no-fuss tips for managing anxiety. In this blog, we’ll be looking at the power of words - and, specifically - the power of a small but mighty word: the word “and”. The word “and” can be an asset when it comes to living well with anxiety.

Previous blogs in this series have offered a quick read, no-fuss approach to anxiety that draws on therapeutic thinking from a range of psychological and psychotherapy theories. My hope is that, rather than feel like anxiety has the upper hand, you’ll have some tried and tested ways to tackle anxiety.

What these tips won’t do is explore the origins and purpose of anxiety for you – this type of deeper exploration is what counselling offers. That said, having strategies for managing anxiety is a great place to start. Each article is designed to be quick read, no-fuss. So, let’s get started on this first technique: the power of “and…”.

Paying attention to the words you use

Words matter.That’s true for the words people say to us, and it’s also true for the words we use to speak to and about ourselves.Try setting an intention today to watch your words, and gain a greater awareness of your self-talk. How often do you use the word “but” when referring to your own experience of yourself and the world? It’s only a small word, yet the word “but” can reinforce self-doubt and self-criticism. A simple and effective way to feel more positive about our own capacities and abilities to manage anxiety is to replace the word “but” with the word “and”.

Try “and” as an alternative to “but” and see if this simple change alters how you feel and think about things

This simple substitution can help you to feel more positive about your own capacities and abilities to manage anxiety

The power of “and” in practice

Take this sentence as an example: “I’m capable at my job, but I feel anxiety sometimes”. Notice how you feel as you say this sentence.

Now try very similar yet crucially different sentence: “I’m capable at my job, and I feel anxiety sometimes”. Again, notice how you feel as you try this sentence out for size. In this second example, the beginning statement is not diluted or minimised through the word “but”. “And” can change the dynamic of the sentence so you integrate both realities – accepting your experience of anxiety as valid without shrinking or making light of your strengths. This approach lies at the heart of a form of therapy known as DBT - Dialectical Behaviour Therapy - which includes working to balance and hold two seemingly opposing ideas, and understanding how both can be true at the same time. It also draws on a form of therapy called ACT - Acceptance and Commitment Therapy which aims to foster psychological flexibility so that your mind can accept, rather than dismiss, positive progress when experiencing anxious feelings (Rutschmann, et al., 2024). Research shows that increased psychological flexibility can increase someone’s quality of life and decrease symptoms for anxiety and depression (Twohig & Levin, 2017).

Next steps?

How do you feel about the idea of experimenting with the power of “and”. Are you up for the challenge of looking out for your “buts” and seeing how it feel to try “and” instead? If so, you will be able to gather some data as to whether your anxiety levels are impacted as a result. 

If you are keen to find other no-fuss anxiety tips, then look out for more blogs within this themed series.  The next article - #9 - explores how managing your expectations around “curing” anxiety can, paradoxically, help reduce anxiety.

And, if you’d like to talk through how counselling can help you with a deeper exploration of your anxiety, do make contact with me, Claire Law.

I’m a BACP Senior Accredited Psychotherapist offering professional counselling and psychotherapy in Preston, Lancashire and online for adults based in the UK.

I offer a simple, no-pressure approach to people who are considering therapy - and can chat through how I work, and to share with you my availability for new clients for either:

• In person counselling for anxiety at my therapy room in Preston.

• Online counselling for anxiety via MS Teams.

References:

Rutschmann, R., Romanczuk-Seiferth, N., Gloster, A., Richter, C. (2024). Increasing psychological flexibility is associated with positive therapy outcomes following a transdiagnostic ACT treatment. Front Psychiatry. 2024 Jul 15;15:1403718.

Twohig, M.P., Levin, M.E. (2017). Acceptance and commitment therapy as a treatment for anxiety and depression: A review. Psychiatr Clinics. (2017) 40:751–70.