No-fuss anxiety tips #14: Take Control
Welcome to the 14th blog in this series of short articles focussing on simple tips and techniques for managing anxiety. Each tip draws upon therapeutic thinking from a range of psychological and psychotherapy theories and is designed to offer you a no-nonsense way to find greater ease in your life. In this article, we’ll be looking at the things you do, and don’t have control over, and how much choice and control you have in your life and what you believe about the control you have over your own life. Being clear on what you have control and influence over can help with feeling that you have the reigns of your life, rather than feeling like anxiety is in charge.
What these tips won’t do is explore the origins and purpose of anxiety for you – this type of deeper exploration is what counselling offers. That said, having strategies for managing anxiety is a great place to start. Each article is designed to be a quick read, and with practical implementable ideas. Let’s take a look at our next tip, then: take control.
What do you control?
What do you have control over in life? Do you believe you can control what happens to you? These questions are getting to the heart of something we call your “locus of control”.
What do you have control over?
Anxiety feel like you’re out of control, overwhelmed.
Getting clear on what you do and don’t have control over can help with decision making and taking charge of your life.
Locus of control
Your locus of control is the way you evaluate your abilities to change or affect your situation. It’s a sense of how much control you have to make a difference (Rotter, 1966). Perhaps you have an external locus of control? An external locus of control is where you place any sense of control outside of yourself. If so, you’re likely to believe things happen to you, and there is little you can do to affect the outcome of what happens. Such a belief is anxiety provoking – as you can come to believe you’re incapable of changing what happens to you, or that you have any sense of agency or control over your own life or your own destiny.
Alternatively, you might have an internal locus of control? If so, somewhere you’ll be carrying a belief that you have the capacity and capabilities to take pro-active steps towards your own happiness and success and can exercise autonomy and control over some of what happens to you. You will be in touch with your own agency to “make life happen”.
The benefits of an internal locus of control
There are significant benefits to having an internal locus of control, including being less likely to be impacted by anxiety. Research shows that an internal locus of control encourages proactive, problem-solving coping, rather than avoidance and enhances resilience, reduces psychological distress, and can even improve academic performance (Guerrero et al, 2026). An internal locus of control promotes agency rather than leaving you to face the hands of fate when. Uncertainty can they feel more manageable. Once you have an internal local of control, you can take stock of what is in your power to change and influence, and what lies outside of our control. Awareness of the differences here can then help us to just focus on what we can influence.
Things you do have control over include:
What you say
How you behave
What you choose to believe
How you spend your leisure time
Yes, there are always things that are truly outside of our control (e.g. the weather and other people’s thoughts and opinions, for example). However, if you have a strong external locus of control, it’s unlikely you’ll see areas of your life where you can make a difference. And research shows that an external locus of control is strongly associated with poorer mental health outcomes (Guerrero et al, 2026).
We can’t control the weather. We can’t control what other people feel or think.
We can exercise control over our behaviours, speech and how we spend our time.
Strengthening your inner locus of control to feel less anxious
If you want to benefit from increased resilience and reduced psychological distress, including anxiety, cultivating an inner locus of control could be a helpful strategy. You can begin this process by noting what skills, abilities and strengths you do have. What resources do you have on the inside - no matter what. Are you creative? Good in a crisis? Hardworking? These strengths can stand you in good stead when there is uncertainty, and will support you to feel equipped, rather than helpless.
You can also raise your own awareness around choices and options in your life. Notice what choices you do have available to you. Notice where you do have the ability to take pro-active steps towards your own happiness. Being conscious and aware that you do have choice over many things in life can foster a greater sense of agency.
If you can develop your internal locus of control, external events may seem less daunting, less frightening, less anxiety provoking - you will have options about what you do, what you think and what you believe, even when events are outside of your control.
Next steps?
If you’ve enjoyed this blog, you may like to check out other anxiety themes articles in the series. The next blog in the series, #15, explores how being clear on responsibility in relationships can help with anxiety.
And, if you’d like to talk through how counselling can help you with a deeper exploration of your anxiety, do make contact with me, Claire Law.
I’m a BACP Senior Accredited Psychotherapist offering professional counselling and psychotherapy in Preston, Lancashire and online for adults based in the UK.
We can talk through how online counselling or face-to-face counselling at my therapy room in Preston could be helpful for you in managing your anxiety and getting to the roots of what lies behind your anxiety. I’d love to hear from you.
References:
Guerrero, C.M., Martinez, G.M.F., Escalera Jasso, A.A., Alvarez Lozada, L.A., Torres Pérez, A.L., Quiroga Garza A., Guzman Avilan, R.I., Escamilla Magaña, D., Bravo Garcia, R., Pérez Sosa, M.L., Márquez González, Y.M., Elizondo Omaña, R.E., Jacobo Baca, G. (2026). Locus of control and its association with depression, anxiety, and stress among Mexican university students: A cross-sectional study. Int J Environ Res Public Health. 2026 Jan 21;23(1):130.
Rotter, J. B. (1966). Generalized expectancies for internal versus external control of reinforcement. Psychological Monographs: General and Applied, 80(1), 1–28. [1, 2]